Frida Darling

Culture

“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world
but then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do
I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there you read this and know that yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”

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“I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to better.”

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“You deserve the best, the very best, because you are one of the few people in this lousy world who are honest to themselves, and that is the only thing that really counts.”

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“I wish I could do whatever I liked behind the curtain of “madness”. Then: I’d arrange flowers, all day long, I’d paint; pain, love and tenderness, I would laugh as much as I feel like at the stupidity of others, and they would all say: “Poor thing, she’s crazy!” (Above all I would laugh at my own stupidity.) I would build my world which while I lived, would be in agreement with all the worlds. The day, or the hour, or the minute that I lived would be mine and everyone else’s – my madness would not be an escape from “reality”.”

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“I don’t give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked. But I was happy in my way. You did not understand what I am. I am love. I am pleasure, I am essence, I am an idiot, I am an alcoholic, I am tenacious. I am; simply I am … You are a shit.”

The Juiciest, Ripest, Sweetest Mango

Culture

You’re always going to be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too sensitive, too goofy, too serious, too dumb, too smart. You could be the juiciest, ripest, sweetest mango in the world, and you’ll still meet someone who just doesn’t like mangoes. And yet, if you try to round out all your edges, you’ll lose all your edge. So right now, I’m focusing on apologizing for the mistakes I make, and apologizing profusely when I unintentionally hurt someone, but I refuse to apologize for being myself. That’s nothing to be sorry about, especially if it’s because I’m too much for you. And while I’m being and doing the most, I’ll be sure to enjoy myself.

A Day in the Life (or Dating Manifesto)

Culture

The world is full of beautiful, loving, generous, compassionate, intelligent, creative and expressive people. The world is also full of evil, messy, selfish, bitter, hurtful, trifling and purposeless people. Know the difference between the two when they cross your path, and know that you don’t owe either of them any amount of love or hate. Acknowledge them and decide whether you should move on alone or take them with you (beware: meeting the first kind of person doesn’t mean the rest will be as kind, and meeting the second type of person doesn’t mean the rest will be as cruel). Luckily, you have an infinite number of soul mates that you can meet in an infinite amount of ways (you can’t bind God), and the best part is that love will never run out on you, even when it seems to run dry. This is power.

The Essence of a Queen

Culture

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It’s a difficult thing to conceptually grasp (like the particles of a perfume after they have already mixed with the air). One doesn’t just wake up a queen. Your crown has to be forged over years, hard-won victories where you have claimed your worth against all odds splattering over its’ jewels, leaving it blood-spattered and chipped and scratched and more valuable than ever.

Think about it… A queen doesn’t allow just anyone into her presence, let alone allow them to kiss her hand (the people around you must be worth). She has to hold her neck steady so her crown never slips (even on your bad days, you hold your head up). There are rules to her kingdom–break them, and you’re executed (you’re not afraid to cut people off). Her advisors never critique her, only the areas she has managed to overlook (taking advice only makes you stronger). And even after her scepter is put away in the closet, her jewels are safely locked in a vault, her crown is resting on her dresser, and her makeup and clothes have been whisked away, she is still a queen (nothing makes you a queen, except you).

Out of all of these, the hardest one is cutting people off. Everything else on the list depends on you: being malleable enough to take and adhere to good advice, maintaining your self-worth, staying in the right environment, etc. It’s crazy because we are able to make so many excuses for other people that would never fool us; and yet, there we find ourselves, lying in our beds praying that the same person won’t do the same thing to you that they just did again in the same way.

The worst part is that we believe us.

Try saying this to yourself the next time (or before the next time) someone who you know 9 times out of 10 will cause you harm (it’s always the 1 time that we fight for):

I will rise above and beyond you until I am a speck in your sky. You will try to use me to light your path like a star at night, but what you don’t understand is that I am an entire constellation. When you do catch a glimpse of me, you in your ignorance will think that you know me. In reality, you are only seeing my back as I walk further away from you.

Now tell me that ain’t what a queen would do…

Pre-Life Crisis

Culture

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It’s easy to think that you’ve already peaked once you get into your twenties, especially when you’ve done a lot in high school or college; your past usually starts to look more attractive the further you get away from it.

My struggle was not letting what I’ve already done become all that I am. There is so much more to life than those big, big moments of success. When you think about it, those moments are built over weeks, months, sometimes even years. That’s why we have to show up for every day.

It’s like how they say character is what you do when no one is watching—life is what we experience when we aren’t getting recognized for anything: how we forgive ourselves and others, treat the people who have little to no power over us, choose to have hope despite our current circumstances, etc.

The bottom line is that our lives aren’t determined by any one thing that’s already happened, good or bad. What we do today counts towards the total of who we are, regardless of who’s watching us at any given moment. 🌻

 

One Thousand Words

Culture

I am a survivor of sexual assault. It took me a decade to find the right words to describe what happened, but there they are. And I’m not ashamed, I’m not at fault, I do not carry any guilt—I’m not even a victim. I am a survivor. I took these pictures to capture my emotions, my mindsets and how I felt through the years of dealing with this experience. Many, many, many nights I have considered committing suicide, but I have decided that I have more things to live for, than to die for. 🌻 And you do, too. If your gut is telling you to reach out to someone, then reach them. And if someone finally reaches out to you, then be reachable. We can get through this life fine, we just have to do it together. 💞

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Two-Way Journaling

Culture
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I want to share something that has totally turned my life around–and it’s called “Two-Way Journaling.”
Now, for there to be something like two-way journaling, there has to be something like one-way journaling. One-way journaling is the way that most people journal; basically, they write to themselves in order to vent or gossip or talk about their feelings, and they stop when they’ve had enough (think: Mean Girls’ Burn Book).
Two-way journaling, on the other hand, is totally different. It’s a journal conversation that you have with God.
There are five steps to this process, all of which are simple and easy, only requiring a pinch of time, two scoops of attention, and five drops of imagination.
1. See yourself in your favorite place. Whether its the closet in your childhood bedroom, the Santa Monica beach or the patch of grass behind your grandma’s house, the place that you imagine should be somewhere that you feel utterly at home and safe. When I personally do this exercise, I see myself reclining in an orange hammock that overlooks a field filled with short grass and fireflies. I’m in a clearing surrounded by tall pine trees, and it’s night time, so all of the stars are out and the sky is indigo. The landscape is so peaceful that even describing it feels like taking a fresh breath of air.
2. Visualize Jesus there, with you. In my mind’s eye, He’s in His late twenties, wearing a teal v-neck shirt and dark wash, boot cut jeans. His hands are behind His head, so that His elbows are pointed to the sky, and He’s extremely tranquil. For some people who two-way journal, they never see anyone, but strongly feel the presence of God. For others, He’s standing in front of them, wearing flowing robes. Regardless of what your Jesus looks like, just remember that it’s not about who you visualize, but the relationship that you visualize.
3. Imagine what you guys are doing together. When I do this exercise, and Jesus and I are lying in the hammock, whispering and giggling; we’re in cahoots. A few of the girls in my Bible study have said that they’re playing games or laughing hysterically with God. Others have reported that their tone is more serious, or that they spend their time just staring into Jesus’ eyes. Whatever activity that you chose, make sure that it’s one that brings you joy.
4. Ask Him a question*. Now that you can clearly see who you’re talking to, where you are, and how you interact with Him (or Her) begin a conversation. Ask anything from “What is your favorite thing about me,” to “What was I created to do on this earth,” to “Why didn’t you answer my prayer last year,” to “How much do you love me?” The loving environment that you have spent time creating in steps 1, 2, and 3 have created the perfect place to meet God one-on-one.

 

*This is where the journaling portion of “two-way journaling” occurs. Be sure to write down your question, and immediately write down the response that you hear whispered in your ear. Do your best not to edit or question what you’ve written down until you are totally done with step 4 and onto step 5.
5. Check your work. This is the most important step in the process–to read what you wrote down after your done with step 4, and see if it lines up with scripture. Check the Word of God, which explains His character, and see if what’s on your paper lines up with who He is in the bible. If you’re unsure, ask someone that has a strong connection with God to read your journal, and ask what they think.
Oftentimes, I have been shocked by God’s response to my questions. Either he didn’t answer it the way I thought He would (the way I wanted Him to), or He pointed something out to me in my life that I was totally oblivious to!

 

Also, beware! Not only is this Being that you’re about to encounter in utter love with you, but He also has been waiting for this moment–one where you are fully open and listening to Him–for your entire life. He probably wont say what you think He will, or go in the direction that you want Him too–but that’s what makes this process so beautiful!

 

The Myers-Briggs 10 Second Test

Culture
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Now that you’ve bossed-up and gone to skill level 9 on Myers-Briggs testing, you can easily eyeball someone’s personality type in ten seconds or less by giving them a quick, mental assessment.

 

The two out side letters of your Myers-Briggs test (ex: E _ _ P) tell how someone sees and acts in their outside, or external, world. These will be the two easiest letters to place first because these actions are readily visible.

 

The middle letters are more complex because they deal with the persons’ internal world. For this part, you will have to know the person better than just as a casual acquaintance, because it requires you to analyze how they think.

 

1. The quickest question to answer first is whether the person that you’re typing is an Introverted (I) or Extroverted (E). You can easily tell this by how they act at a party or around a large group of people. And, BAM! Immediately you went from having 16 options to only having 8.

 

2. The second question that’s is whether they’re planners (J) or dreamers (P). If your not sure, ask yourself how this person handles assignments, homework, or planning a trip. If they have a list for everything, they’re probably a (J); if they’re 9 times out of 10 a hot mess, probably a (P).

 

3. The third part is asking whether they rely on concrete information, such as things they can actually touch and see, to make decisions (S) or if they use their imaginations and future projections (N) to make a choice for today.

 

4. Lastly, ask yourself whether they are more likely to use facts, data and analysis to thinking through a decision (T), or are more likely to use their gut to do so (F).

 

And Wha-la! An entire personality test that normally takes ten minutes is done in ten seconds.

 

Go forth, and blow the minds of your friends to pieces.

Myers-Briggs and Bae

Culture
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Now, after reading the first few articles on this blog, you may be asking yourself, “What’s up with this test? Will this help me meet Bae or naw?” Well, you’re in luck–Bae is waiting right around the corner.

 

Just to refresh, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is used to tell a person about his or her temperament. It is an insanely accurate 4-letter combination that describes both how you see yourself, and how you see the world that you live in. To take it for free, go to 16 Personalities.

 

Typically, it’s recommended that people date others who have 1-2 letters different from themselves.

 

However, sometimes even this match can go horribly wrong–especially when those 1-2 letters are the ones in the middle*.

 

Say, for example, that because you now understand that in everything you do, you completely rely on your gut feelings and intuition and signs, making you an ENFP or Diplomat. Now, if you were to go on a date with someone who is extremely analytical, data-minded and rational in thought like an ESTP or Analyst, you may notice that the two of you disagree on some very fundamental things. In that person’s eyes,  you may look like a hula-hooping hippie who spins in circles and points her index finger to the sky in order to decide which bills to pay; to you, they may look the type of person who would easily choose to kill 100 people today in order to save 100,000 people next year, which, as we all know, is only the stuff of Shonda Rhimes and the Devil.

 

So even though you are both extraverted and enjoy dealing with life as it comes, the way that you see the world is so drastically different that any romantic feelings that evolved would have to struggle to grow.

 

*The two middle letters indicate how people rationalize their internal world (reasoning, values and logic), and the outer two letters indicate how someone deals with their external world (social preferences, work style, etc)

 

On the other hand, an ENFJ and an INFP may go well together because both of these types are Diplomats (NF), and can agree on how they see the world—perhaps on things such as people and love and ideas being most important, and that helping those in need is a high priority. Alternatively, the way that these two types differ is in how they deal with the world. One is an extrovert, so he is more social, while the introvert in the relationship will tend to shy back and be more reserved. Similarly, One is more concrete in plans and what they want their future to look like, while the other is more inclined to improvise and feel things out. In this way, the two personalities are deeply compatible, but also have their own approaches to life. If they are able to respect each others’ different perspectives, this relationship will create space for positive, sharing, and growth oriented discussions

 

Warning:
Something to avoid at all costs is being with a person who you have NO letters in common with. That means that you socialize differently perceive the world differently, act in the world differently, and ultimately come to different conclusions about most things. While opposites do attract, total polar opposites never meet.

The Myers-Briggs Breakdown

Culture
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Have you ever heard of the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator test? If you so, have you had the guts to take it? The Myers-Briggs personality test is a no-joke, no-nonsense, intimate assessment of how someone sees the world around them, as well as their place in it. In fact, this test is reported to be so accurate that participants usually find themselves SHOCKED at the amount of horrifyingly true information is uncovered in a matter of minutes.

 

What Had Happened Was…

 

Originally created by a mother and daughter duo, Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers, this questionnaire is based on theories proposed by Carl Jung in the early 1900s. Basically, Jung said four things make up a person’s personality: thinking, feeling, sensation, and intuition, as well as whether they’re an introvert or an extrovert.

 

Myers and Briggs ran with this idea and created a set of 16 different personality types that are “loosely” based on Jung’s theory.

 

None of these types are necessarily “better” or “worse”, they’re just… different. Each has its own strengths and weaknesses, but there’s no “advantage” to having one over the other.

 

To make it easy, the cast of The Big Bang Theory would be Analysts (NT), Dear White People‘s cast would be Diplomats (NF), New Girl‘s Cast would be Explorers (SP), and the cast of Grey’s Anatomy would be Sentinels (SJ).

 

Trust me, your Netflix preferences say much more about you than your binging habits.

 

Extroversion (E) Vs. Introversion (I)

 

People who prefer Extraversion (E) draw energy from action—meaning that they tend to act, reflect, and then act further. Usually, if they are inactive, such as when they are alone for long periods of time or are doing independent work, their motivation tends to decline. In order to rebuild their energy again, extraverts need to get back into the action by being around the energy of others.

 

Conversely, those who prefer Introversion (I) expend energy through action, instead preferring to reflect, act, and then reflect again. For them to rebuild their energy, introverts need quiet, alone time, far, far away from activity, people and noise.

 

Sensing (S) Vs. Intuition (N)
This function has to do with how we gather or perceive information, as well as how we interpret it.
People who are Sensing (S) individuals are more likely to trust information that is in the present, tangible, and concrete (that can be understood by the five senses). For people like this, Data is king, and on the throne right next to him are Details and Facts, who, as a family, govern what sensing people understand to be both possible AND impossible.
On the other hand, those who prefer Intuition (N) don’t necessarily put all their trust in their senses—they rely on their gut (think Olivia Pope in every episode of Scandal ever, “I TRUST MY GUT!”). These individuals are much more interested in future possibilities than unlikely probabilities. For example, a lowly static of the number of basketball players who actually make it into the NBA, or the even lower statistic of becoming Next Generation Oprah, would never stop an Intuitive from reaching for their dreams.
*The Intuition category is labeled with an “N” so as not to get confused with the Introvert category, which is labeled as “I”.

 

Feeling (F) Vs. Thinking (T)
Thinking (T) and Feeling (F) are the decision-making functions in a person’s personality. However, how you gather information does not equal how you act on it. Both modes of reasoning are used to make rational decisions so that a person can be an Intuitive (N) individual who makes decisions from a point of logic, or a concrete, Sensing (S) person who makes decisions based on how they feel.
Those who prefer Thinking (T) tend to decide things from a more detached standpoint, measuring their choices by what seems reasonable, logical, causal, consistent, and matching a given set of rules. To them, the truth of a matter is more important than anything else.
On the contrary, people who use Feeling (F) to arrive at their decisions usually empathize with the situation, looking at it ‘from the inside’ and weighing how they can create the greatest harmony between all people involved.

 

Judging (J) Vs. Perceiving (P)
Interestingly enough, people also have a preference for using either the Judging (J) function (Thinking or Feeling) or their Perceiving (P) function (Sensing or Intuition) when relating to the outside world.
People who see the world through their Judging (J) side basically prefer to either use their Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) function when making decisions. (TJ) individuals are much more likely to be described as logical reasoners, and (FJ) types as empathetic and out-of-the-box thinkers—however, both types like to plan things out and have matters “settled”.
People who show the world their Perceiving (P) function would rather make decisions by using their Sensing (S) or Intuition (N) sides when making a choice. (SP) types appear much more concrete to those around them, while (NP) individuals are often labeled as being more abstract—nevertheless, both types prefer to improvise and keep their options open.

 

Categorizing the Personalities
One of the most important indicators of a persons’ personality is the second letter, which is either (S) for Sensing or (N) for Intuitive, because it immediately speaks to whether someone is more idealistic (N), or more realistic (S).
There are two types of Intuitive (N) people—Intuitive Thinkers (NT) and Intuitive Feelers (NF):
Intuitive Thinkers (NT) are called Analysts (The Big Bang Theory)—they love to wonder and imagination, but mostly when applied to practical thoughts. These individuals tend to be scientists, doctors, engineers—people who see a solid problem that only the working imagination can solve
Intuitive Feelers (NF), on the other hand, are called Diplomats (Dear White People)—they apply their natural love of imagination and wonder to abstract problems that are typically people-centered. These types of people are lawyers, actors, poets, activists, authors, and teachers. They use their idealism and belief in people to change their world, as well as other problems that can’t necessarily be solved on paper.
Now, Sensing (S) people also have two main combinations—Sensing Judgers (SJ) and Sensing Perceivers (SP):
They can Sensing and Judging (SJ) types, or Sentinels, who are practical and down to earth, but who are also very protective of the relationships that they have with their close loved ones (Grey’s Anatomy). This type often goes into a career that directly helps people, such as medicine or health such as dentists or physical therapists. They enjoy working in the concrete and directly apply their work to help others in concrete ways.
The last type is the Sensing and Perceiving (SP) combination, also known as Explorers. This type of individual is very focused on external living and put almost all of their attention on the outside world—whether it’s through fixing things like a mechanic or engineer, being an entrepreneur, or a painter, this type deals in a reality flooded with colors, brought in by their Perceiving (P) side, but also one that they can touch with their hands (New Girl).

 

The Test isn’t Always Accurate
It’s very important to remember while taking this test that it’s not always accurate.
For example, even though I am an introvert, my mom highly socialized me as a child; while in junior high, I also spent hours reading books like How to Make People Like You in Ninety Seconds or Less or Social Climbing for the High Schooler. Because of these influences, I was able to make my social personality an extroverted one, even though my energy would still be greatly drained after just one outing or event.

 

Basically, because of all of these extroverted influences, the Myers Briggs test classified me as an extrovert because I acted like one—I just didn’t feel like one.
If something similar happens to you, where your test is almost accurate, try switching the letter that you feel is incorrect with its opposite, and see what new combination it gives you.

 

Be Fruitful and Multiply
Now that you have a much more complete understanding of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, feel free to take it using the link below!
Most of my information has come from this website—it is one of the best resources on this test!
Comment below if you guys have any questions! Also, let me know what your test says!