It’s a difficult thing to conceptually grasp (like the particles of a perfume after they have already mixed with the air). One doesn’t just wake up a queen. Your crown has to be forged over years, hard-won victories where you have claimed your worth against all odds splattering over its’ jewels, leaving it blood-spattered and chipped and scratched and more valuable than ever.
Think about it… A queen doesn’t allow just anyone into her presence, let alone allow them to kiss her hand (the people around you must be worth). She has to hold her neck steady so her crown never slips (even on your bad days, you hold your head up). There are rules to her kingdom–break them, and you’re executed (you’re not afraid to cut people off). Her advisors never critique her, only the areas she has managed to overlook (taking advice only makes you stronger). And even after her scepter is put away in the closet, her jewels are safely locked in a vault, her crown is resting on her dresser, and her makeup and clothes have been whisked away, she is still a queen (nothing makes you a queen, except you).
Out of all of these, the hardest one is cutting people off. Everything else on the list depends on you: being malleable enough to take and adhere to good advice, maintaining your self-worth, staying in the right environment, etc. It’s crazy because we are able to make so many excuses for other people that would never fool us; and yet, there we find ourselves, lying in our beds praying that the same person won’t do the same thing to you that they just did again in the same way.
The worst part is that we believe us.
Try saying this to yourself the next time (or before the next time) someone who you know 9 times out of 10 will cause you harm (it’s always the 1 time that we fight for):
I will rise above and beyond you until I am a speck in your sky. You will try to use me to light your path like a star at night, but what you don’t understand is that I am an entire constellation. When you do catch a glimpse of me, you in your ignorance will think that you know me. In reality, you are only seeing my back as I walk further away from you.
Now tell me that ain’t what a queen would do…