Myers-Briggs and Bae

Now, after reading the first few articles on this blog, you may be asking yourself, “What’s up with this test? Will this help me meet Bae or naw?” Well, you’re in luck–Bae is waiting right around the corner.


Just to refresh, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test is used to tell a person about his or her temperament. It is an insanely accurate 4-letter combination that describes both how you see yourself, and how you see the world that you live in. To take it for free, go to 16 Personalities.


Typically, it’s recommended that people date others who have 1-2 letters different from themselves.


However, sometimes even this match can go horribly wrong–especially when those 1-2 letters are the ones in the middle*.


Say, for example, that because you now understand that in everything you do, you completely rely on your gut feelings and intuition and signs, making you an ENFP or Diplomat. Now, if you were to go on a date with someone who is extremely analytical, data-minded and rational in thought like an ESTP or Analyst, you may notice that the two of you disagree on some very fundamental things. In that person’s eyes,  you may look like a hula-hooping hippie who spins in circles and points her index finger to the sky in order to decide which bills to pay; to you, they may look the type of person who would easily choose to kill 100 people today in order to save 100,000 people next year, which, as we all know, is only the stuff of Shonda Rhimes and the Devil.


So even though you are both extraverted and enjoy dealing with life as it comes, the way that you see the world is so drastically different that any romantic feelings that evolved would have to struggle to grow.


*The two middle letters indicate how people rationalize their internal world (reasoning, values and logic), and the outer two letters indicate how someone deals with their external world (social preferences, work style, etc)


On the other hand, an ENFJ and an INFP may go well together because both of these types are Diplomats (NF), and can agree on how they see the world—perhaps on things such as people and love and ideas being most important, and that helping those in need is a high priority. Alternatively, the way that these two types differ is in how they deal with the world. One is an extrovert, so he is more social, while the introvert in the relationship will tend to shy back and be more reserved. Similarly, One is more concrete in plans and what they want their future to look like, while the other is more inclined to improvise and feel things out. In this way, the two personalities are deeply compatible, but also have their own approaches to life. If they are able to respect each others’ different perspectives, this relationship will create space for positive, sharing, and growth oriented discussions


Something to avoid at all costs is being with a person who you have NO letters in common with. That means that you socialize differently perceive the world differently, act in the world differently, and ultimately come to different conclusions about most things. While opposites do attract, total polar opposites never meet.